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: Rush Limbaugh's military induction was coming : to p. So he had his family Doctor : look up his ! : : "Not me, not me," this young "Patriot" roared : "I have a medical condition that can't : be ignored." : : "It makes me 4F," he cried to those who : could hear. "I have an ingrown hair : piercing my rear!" : : "It's plain inconvenient to fight a war off : so far." He pled to the Doctor who : wedged his cheeks ajar. : : "Of course I hate commies, their the : greatest EVIL I know, but why : can't some kid from the ghetto : take up a weapon : and go? : : "I have a , a real important , spinning : 45" at a radio station half owned : by my dad." : : "My duties are essential, and I can't be : replaced. Those hippie draft dodgers : are an American disgrace." : : "I have a future I'm unwilling to risk. : That's why I thank God for : my PILONIDAL CYST." : : "There will be wars that I will endorse. I'll : lead the cheers from a microphone : when Republicans use force." : : "USA USA USA USA USA USA USA" : Daniel T. Michael : 2003 :

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